Marge Hicke, Marriage And Family Therapist » Parenting

Let’s Realign Self Esteem part 2

admin — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 01:00:01 +0000

Let’s continue our exploration of Self Esteem.

We began with self acceptance. How did it go? With self acceptance we learn we can trust ourselves and follow our inner guide to make right decisions. I like to say: Live by your values; be clear, honest and direct.

Today we will look at what we expect from ourselves.
Set realistic dreams, and expectations
Explore the fine line between expecting too much and expecting too little
Break dreams and goals into doable steps

Check out the “fear factors”.
How do you feel about exploring NEW thoughts, behaviors, possibilities? About trying something you have never done before?
About being successful?

Breathe in possibilities;
Breathe out fears.
Picture yourself confident and excited.
Breathe in;
Breathe out.

Try something new; learn more about yourself. Take a risk and accept yourself!

After writing about self-acceptance as a step to high self esteem I had the opportunity to go deeper with my own self acceptance. I took a risk and was richly rewarded. Exploring self acceptance is much like peeling the onion—lots of layers to be explored!!!

Is It Time To Realign? Let’s Foster Some Self Esteem

admin — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 19:45:06 +0000

Healthy self-esteem is not something that just happens. Work and practice are needed, especially practice.

Let’s begin with acceptance–and the most important person to accept is YOURSELF! The practice of today is to accept both your strengths and your weaknesses. Perfection is not the goal! You do not have to be perfect to be a good person or to be loveable.

Take action:
Make a list of strengthes and weaknesses
Take a deep breath in and out;
Breathe in acceptance of youself;
Breathe out the gift you are to others

Practing self acceptance will:
Increase productivity
Decrease stress
Decrease depression
Open the door for possibilities

Breathe in acceptance; breathe out possibilities

The possibilities are the gift for the day.

Marge

The Life of E’s — Humor and Parenting

admin — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 19:58:23 +0000

Humor will help you finish—

no matter what race you enter. (Dr. Siegel)

I have a friend who has run 100 marathons. I suspect it is my friend’s sense of humor that has enabled him to do that.

Humor heals! Humor is a great stress buster! Without it, life can be oppressive.

Humor is a wonderful parenting tool!

Use humor to bring fun into your family.

It can lighten up homework and ease boredom.

Of course, you may have to listen to 101 Pickle Jokes!!!!!!!!

Do something out of character; surprise your children!

Here is my suggestion for a winter project. Create a list, or a fill a jar, with activities that will produce laughter or be fun. Let the all the family contribute.

Some ideas:

Hold a bubble blowing contest
Make a fort out of spare blankets; eat lunch or take a nap in it
Eat saltine crackers and hold a whistling contest
New name day; everyone choose a silly or unusual name for the day.

Now it’s up to you; run with it and have fun!

Transitioning from the heightened activity of the holidays often stresses our children. Their systems are out of balance; food and sleep have been disrupted. Suddenly they are back to school. They have homework again. As the activity level changes, our children can often use some help acclimating to “ordinary time.” Sleep and nutrition are excellent remedies for restoring balance.

Happy New Year!

Marge

The Life of E’s–Happy New Year

admin — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 15:07:49 +0000

Happy New Year! I wish you peace and blessings in this year of 2009.

“Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly buildng new structures. And however undramatic the pursuit of peace, that pursuit must go on.”

– John Fitzgerald Kennedy

“The great teachings unanimously emphasize that all the peace, wisdom, and joy in the universe are already within us; we don’t have to gain, develop, or attain them. We’re like a child standing in a beautiful park with his eyes shut tight. We don’t need to imagine trees, flowers, deer, birds, and sky; we merely need to open our eyes and realize what is already here, who we really are — as soon as we quit pretending we’re small or unholy.”

—Author Unknown

Breathe in peace; breathe out discord. Breathe in love of self and love of other; breathe out peace. And create a beautiful year.

Marge

Relationships

margehicke — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 19:10:53 +0000

Welcome. Take a deep breath in and slowly let it out. Breathe in peace and relax. Breathe out tension and relax. Do this three times.

To improve your relationships learn to listen with your heart. Let your head and your thoughts take a break! When we listen with our heads, we are usually listening to ourselves, paying attention to what we want to say next. When we listen with our hearts, we keep the spotlight on the other person. We reflect the message and we ask gently for more information (in a non judgemental way–conveying to that person that she or he is important and we really want to hear the message.)

I urge you to pick a person in your life and spend five minutes a day for five days listening with your heart. Notice if you find a difference in your relationship with that person. Let me know how it goes. If you need help, let me know that, too.

“A human moment occurs anytime two or more people are together, paying attention to one another.” Edward M Hallowell, MD

Parenting in Autumn

margehicke — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 01:24:03 +0000

Parenting:

By mid-autumn adjustment to school has been accomplished and the year’s work has begun in earnest. Communication is the most important element in the relationship between parents, children and teachers. And the most important part of communication is listening—not listening for information, but listening with the heart for feeling, without judgment, with no right or wrong answers.

Assume good will and competence on the part of the teacher. Most teachers are concerned about their students and want them to do their best. Be proactive; make an appointment with your child’s teacher to discuss strengths and weaknesses, as well as expectations for the upcoming year. This way you have a relationship established should problems arise later and a relationship that begins on a positive note.

With children it is also most important to listen. How often I hear children say, “I wish my parents would listen to me.” As parents we most frequently listen with one ear as we are busy with something else. Make eye contact and listen with your heart to the message behind the words. If you can spend ten minutes a day consistently, one on one, with your child, you will bless the child beyond all knowing.

(http://thelifeofease.com/education/articles.htm )

“There are no right answers, no wrong answers and no judgments in listening. Listening generously can enable people to recognize the power that is growing in them and begin to heal themselves.”

Rachel Naomi Remen (www.rachelremen.com )